Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize