you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
