Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
someone owes me an orgasm
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
