Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
