ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
