this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
