I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
