Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
