How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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