last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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