My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
