woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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