So drunk, too bad you don't want this
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
