I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
