i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
