youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
