you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
