Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
