just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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