Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
