best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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