alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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