this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
