Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
