In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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