whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
