Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
