you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
