i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
only you would photoshop your dick
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
