I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Actions speak louder than pants.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
