One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
