so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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