really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
