Betty ford says i'm here all night
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
