he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
