I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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