My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
