the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
