it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
