I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
