Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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