I can text with my tongue
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
