She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We left an ass print on the piano.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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