hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
