Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
