awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Small penises have feelings too.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
