Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I have fence marks all over my body
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
