Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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