Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We named our party play list daddy issues
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
