Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
