You really coming over, don't trick.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
