Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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