# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
