Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
