was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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